RADical thinking

The Language of the Adult RAD

Kerry — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:24:47 -0700

I found a very interesting and telling link about adults with RAD, and it came as no surprise to me when I read the following question about unresolved Adult RAD:

Every message I see is about adults, who have children, with RAD.

Since I dont have children, or a boyfriend, or a husband, I'm clearly not looking for help for my kids, or anyone else..............except for myself. Are there ANY treatment centers for adults with unresolved RAD, in the Baltimore area?

RADical thinking

Adult RAD's and their baby-steps towards secure intimacy

Kerry — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 05:09:24 -0600

I've been reading a lot of posts on a website that teaches sex/porn addicts how to reform their detached sex-deeds through non-orgasmic learning. The author of the book and website wrote the following post-reply that made me think about the Adult RAD's Response.

She wrote: [In response to a question about the shelf-life of her book's suggested techniques]

Intimate relationships

Herding the Flock: An American Industry Filled with Farm-Land Foundlings

Kerry — Fri, 30 May 2008 06:51:45 -0600

The American response to Baby Farming has been the following:

Child abuse

Movies for the RADult in mind

Kerry — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:42:18 -0600

Yesterday my oldest daughter and I were watching the movie "Good Will Hunting", and it occurred to me what a great movie it is for depicting the emotional-mind of an adult with attachment anxieties (after all, that's how I see RAD as a "disorder"... it's an anxiety and fear of bonding and attaching with another.)

RADical thinking

Learning how to trust, as an adult

Kerry — Thu, 08 May 2008 06:49:43 -0600

I was recently presented with a situation that has become all too familiar a theme in my life: I asked a question regarding intention, and I got stormed with the reply, "If you don't trust me, I'm out of here".

How can trust be built between two people, if one person is always running-away as the "adult option"? Should trustworthiness be earned or assumed?

RADical thinking

Calling all "graduates" from a RTC: How was your recovery?

Kerry — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:38:08 -0600

I've gotten letters from adoptive parents who had to see their children go to a Residential Treatment Center, because there was no other option for these families being destroyed by the horrific behaviors RAD can often bring with it.

RADical thinking

Trends in Teens: Any RADical Discoveries Made Yet?

Kerry — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 15:03:44 -0600

A suicide attempt is often seen as the very depressed person's version of "seeking closure" to a very hopeless and helpless desperate situation. It's the permanant answer to a temporary condition that needs to be recognized sooner (than later) by friends, adults and intimate partners so appropraite assitance can be given to the life that does not have to be lost.

Child placement

Prince Harming and Damsels Stuck in Stress

Kerry — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:56:45 -0600

One of the most common complaints I hear from people is the frustration a loving person has with an adult with RAD. In a typical therapy session, the counselor will discuss "co-dependency" and if you're really lucky, the Karpman's Drama Triangle might be thrown in there for confusing interest....

Intimate relationships

Celebrities and child placement

neophyte — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 07:39:36 -0600

I read a comment that really hit the nail on the head and pissed me off about celebrities thinking they can stroll into another country and buy a baby, thinking that's going to save that child from a miserable life.

RADical thinking

Adults Needing Support and Services: What and Where Are The Options?

Kerry — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 12:57:38 -0600

I've been spending much of my time lately reading and weeding through private emails, and although each person's life-story is very different, all the messages seem the same: very few therapists relate to the language the hurt adoptee speaks. I call such sitting sessions "a date with The Deer-In-Headlight-Diagnostician". It's a futile experience that ends with the client saying, "You know what, I think I DO feel better, thanks for listening", only to walk away knowing nothing is different.

RADical thinking

Wild Children

neophyte — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:03:38 -0700

Is it possible that a child can be raised by animals, literally? According to a website, http://www.feralchildren.com/en/children.php?tp=0, yes.

Sadly, many of these cases are the result of natural parental neglect and abuse.

It should make one wonder: who gave man the sense that we are the dominate species, capable of ruling over all others?

Does money truly make us SMARTER and more capable, or just more greedy and angry?

RADical thinking

What do you do for a living?

Kerry — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 12:26:36 -0700

Do you practice what you were taught, (in school or by professionals), to keep a steady salary; or do you follow a favorite hobby/interest to maintain a personal income?

RADical thinking

MTV True Life Stories: Three people cope with extreme anxiety. 'I Panic'

Kerry — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 21:45:00 -0700

RADical thinking

Fear of being "Different"

Kerry — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 09:14:11 -0700

A common theme written and spoken to me by many has been sexual-strangeness, and finding identity among others. For the abused adoptee, this can become further complicated as tons of associations can become made with gender and sex.

I was wondering how many adults relate to being seen as strange or having a sense of questioned sexual orientation, simply because they don't "fit" a certain profile among their own peers?

Are our mothers responsible for our sense of sexual safety -- if not, who is?

Child abuse

Removal from "The Perfect Image"

Kerry — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 17:58:20 -0700

KUDOS,brava and YAY YOU! go to Baywatch Babe and Second-Time-Mom, Gena Lee Nolin, for speaking-out on what matters most in Family Matters!!!!!

Former 'Baywatch' Star Gena Lee Nolin On Winning Her Body Image Battle or http://video.accesshollywood.com/player/?id=188877

Let 2008 be the year where a woman's importance begins at home, with her babies, and let it all grow from there!!!!!

RADical thinking

"I swear to _____"

Kerry — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 14:43:11 -0700

In a court of law, it's expected to swear on a Bible that what you say is "the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth"

What happens to/for the person who no longer believes in God, because his/her life has been broken by lies and deception?

Is there a book that can replace the moral priniples taught within the Bible that can be also deemed equally acceptable by judge and jury?

RADical thinking

Can we train our brains to react in new ways?

Kerry — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 09:22:39 -0700

People go to therapists for Behavior Modification; money is paid for drugs to heal depression and addictions, but can technology help scientists heal those who want to heal themselves?

RADical thinking

Love Replacements

Kerry — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 08:00:54 -0600

Has your own adoption or childhood placement situation somehow made you think people and love can be replaced as a result? Do you think maybe this is why Trust and Love are huge issues for adults with attachment issues?

RADical thinking

Rocky beginnings

Kerry — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 18:47:14 -0700

What if you fell in love with someone with a shady past or criminal record?

Is the love of a good person powerful enough to change the evils of a bad past?

The Criminal Mind

Vasectomies, virility; dating and availability. How does this affect the adult adoptee?

Kerry — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 10:22:05 -0700

For years I have have many-an-email with male Pound Pups who have had their seminal-strings snipped. (spelled "vasectomy") It seems fatherhood brought-out huge personal issues for these guys, sex and fear of future pregnancy being a main concern.

Bartender !?!

Body-Language and placement: What are these people thinking?

Kerry — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 19:26:08 -0700

A few years the name Peterson became famous in America because it was related to Laci Peterson, a young soon-to-be mother killed by her husband, Scott.

A new Peterson family is in the news. This time the children are alive to witness the loss of their mother, Stacy.

If that isn't difficult enough, dad decides to go public with statements outside the courtroom.

What drives suspects to do this public display of free-speech?

For the sake of the children?

RADical thinking

WTF???

neophyte — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 04:28:53 -0700

Beer goggles?

He lost a bet?

Just really lonely?

Oh, "supersticious" they say!

Gotchya!

They call it "beastiality" in the States, but to each his own!

Bartender !?!

2007: Where has the "Women's Movement" taken us?

Kerry — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 08:27:38 -0600

At PPL, we post a lot about Child Placement and how social services is supposed to help and support parents teach responsibility to child-care. That's not always possible in single-parent situations, is it?

So the question is, why so many single-parents?

Is that always a "choice"?

As a babe from the groovy-sixties, one could chew over "choices" till the cows come home, however, in my case both dads (natural and adoptive, mind you) were Military Men.

Bartender !?!

Are we addicts to things that are tragic?

Kerry — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 09:11:45 -0700

What is it that keeps our eyes on the sad and sorry? Is it the passion of the stories that keeps us intoxicated? Or is it compassion we crave and seek through others?

There's a quiz on msn's A-List (what-ever that means):

http://msnalist.spaces.live.com

RADical thinking

Residents wonder how things go down like they do...

Kerry — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 09:28:06 -0600

Maybe it's being an Outsider with an Insider's Perspective that makes me so surprised Average Americans are stunned when a shooting takes place outside their average homes.

People can't understand how a sherrif can become a gun-man, and turn on it's town's young. [Wis. residents wonder how killer of 6 could have become sheriff's deputy]

Gee, Davey, I dunno!

You'd be surprised what happens behind closed doors, wouldn't you?

The Criminal Mind

Planting the seeds of doubt

Kerry — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 08:00:51 -0600

Who teaches insecurity in our lives?

RADical thinking

Trained eyes, or paranoid thinking?

Kerry — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 08:59:47 -0600

Do names given, or chosen, have hidden meanings?

RADical thinking

what's up with the western-sea board?

neophyte — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 18:17:13 -0600

Do you notice how so many political activist groups originate from California?

Why is that, when it is also the land of start-dust and opportunity, or is that the very reason? Have broken promises and fallen dreams brought activated interest to a few, because they want to protect others from vultures and false advertising? (Almost like -- dare I say, "watch dogs"??)

Meanwhile, there are still those from the east still wanting to conquer more by dividing and destroying? How come?

RADical thinking