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neophyte's picture

I understand it's wrong to think or say all adoptive parents are bad, because I know it's not true.  I know not all adoptive parents are psychos.  My therapist tells me I need to stop my Black and White Thinking.  My Bartender says I have to see the glass as half full, not half empty.  [He's a good man!]  I believe my money is better spent at a bar than on a couch.  God knows it's less expensive, and with less side-effects.

I blame the Disney movies and fairey tales I saw and read when I was little.  Mothers died, and evil step-mothers lurked to kill or rid the poor babes left waiting for mommy to re-appear.  [Where the hell was Daddy in all of this mess for Snow White and Cinderella is beyond me, but I'm sure they have their fine excuses.]

I've met a couple who is trying to adopt a child, and these people really seem nice.  Of course anyone can seem nice over a few drinks and friendly conversation.  It's that car-ride home you get all the crap dished-out.  But I digress.

We got to talking about the adoption process, and I was impressed with the dedication they seemed to have in terms of learning all they could about adopted children.  They couldn't ask enough questions about me and "what's it like being adopted?" They had a notebook and took notes.  I felt important.  It was great. 

A few drinks later, we got into the price-tag of parenting.  It takes cash to carry a baby.  I asked if it bothered them celebrities seemed to have no problem getting babies, yet they were waiting years for a child, because investigations had to be conducted and interviews needed to be reviewed.

Hmm.  Really?

I'd LOVE to know who was the case-worker signing off these Angelina's three adoption files.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angelina_Jolie.  Now, of course, from a marriage perspective, how could anyone ever predict Brad would want to go back to Gwyneth Paltrow, or perhaps still be in love with Jennifer Aniston (with his parents wanting to see them back again).  Hey, anything is possible in Hollywood, right?

I'm wondering just, what sort of psych-evaluations are given to these high-hill adoptive mothers, especially if there is a documented history of self-injury?  Is this the sort of "Best Option" adoption advocates can find for three babies from three different women?

 
 
Angelina Jolie, a young actress who has starred in "Girl Interrupted" and "Tomb Raider," was born in 1975 to famous parents, both actors. She grew up in Los Angeles and studied at the Lee Strasberg Institute. She appeared in five student films for her filmmaker brother, James Haven Voight, as well as in music videos for the Rolling Stones, Meat Loaf, the Lemonheads, and Lenny Kravitz. Angelina had a short modeling career with Finesse Modeling Agency, in which she appeared in numerous fashion layouts. In 1996, at the age of twenty, she got married to Jonny Lee Miller, a British actor, while wearing a white shirt with her fiance's name written on it in her blood. The two got divorced two years later. In May 2000 she got married to Billy Bob Thornton.

In June 2001 Rolling Stone she said that during her very early teens she started "thinking about not wanting to be around. It was when the reality of life set in, the reality of surviving." Also, Angelina used to hurt herself during her early teens but stopped around the age of sixteen. She explained in a 2000 Maxim article, "You're young, you're crazy, you're in bed and you've got knives. So shit happens." But in 1999 Access Hollywood interview she explained it more in-depth, "I was..trying to feel something....I was looking at different things..thinking romantically about...about blood. I really hurt myself," and also said, "I was just....a kid. I was like 13, And, I was saying that it is not something that is cool. Its not cool. And I understand that it is a cry for help..."

In a 2000 Jane interview she said, "This person asked me about cutting myself when they saw a scar. I'm very open, but because of that, people think that they know everything about me, and, actually, they don't know anything. I say things that other people might go through. That's what artists should do - throw things out there and not be perfect and not have answers for anything and see if people understand. But this person made the cutting sound interesting, like it was something I do now. [For the record, she did, but doesn't now, and doesn't endorse it.] And then I met somebody who said they'd seen movies of mine and then showed me where they had cut themselves. I had to explain, first off, not to do that. But it made me really fucking angry at the people who represent me in a way that would get that person to do that and show me. I don't understand why people would want to use something so damaging. It's like, let's make me look 'cool' and worry a lot of people in my family." Angelina has the Japanese symbol for "death" tattooed on her shoulder, and the Latin words, 'Quod me nutrit me destruit,' on her stomach, meaning "What nourishes me also destroys me."

Angelina Jolie no longer hurts herself as a way of coping but she freely admits to using knives during sex play. Article and interviews indicate that she is a much happier and more content individual than she was earlier in her life.

That's a real comfort to read.

Bartender?  Make it a tall stiff one, and keep 'em coming!

Comments

Read the Fine Print

All bad love-triangle puns aside, there is a serious side to parental loss/abandonment.  Just as there's the circle of life, there's a cycle of patterned behaviors that gets passed down from parent to child, generation after generation.  It's unavoidable.  We do, or don't do as our parents taught us.  I think the sad truth is, we don't know what kind of people we really are until we have pets, lovers or children.   It's amazing the stuff that comes out when someone else's needs come before sleep!

Love or hate the chick, once upon a time, Angelina was a little girl, and she was a hurtin' pup.  Why is it so easy for people to forget what it's like to be little, afraid, and not know if mommy or daddy is going to Be There when something is wrong? 

It's no secret her father left her.  What does she know of family stability, other than it changes?  Does that make her a bad mom?  No.  Does that make her a mom, with an edge?  Who knows?  It makes her a woman with a lot of baggage, used to a lot of change, with the scars to prove it.  Other than her dating circles and annual income being 500 bajillion times bigger than I can imagine, how much different is she from the rest of us human beings?

For the sake of those children she adopted, (because I will always be partial to the adoptee), I hope that whole family gets life-long family-therapy because they will be having life-long family issues.  She comes from a broken family and her adopted kids will have their own identity and abandonment issues; they will all need help keeping it all open and together.  Fortunately for them, money won't be an issue, so they they will be able to afford the best of the best therapists.  [Lucky bastards, eh?!]

Of all the things mentioned above, the one thing that disturbed me was the tatoos:  Angelina has the Japanese symbol for "death" tattooed on her shoulder, and the Latin words, 'Quod me nutrit me destruit,' on her stomach, meaning "What nourishes me also destroys me."

How does a mother explain those expressions, carved in her skin,  to her children? 

Oh, wait!  What am I thinking?  She can have them surgically removed!  DUH!

I bet she can find a good plastic surgeon who doesn't leave scars.

I believe I need a refill.