My adoptive mother was very much a mommy-figure, too much though. She very much loved me to stay 3 years old forever. I guess there is a band-width for adoptive mothers as to the extend to which they can be mommies. Too little is not good making the child to feel neglected, but too much can make us feel smothered and emphasized the unnatural aspect of the mother-child relationship.
My adoptive mother went for the extreme of being too much of a mommy and more or less left me no space but to behave like a three year old. That went so far I still had a baby-sitter, at the age of fourteen, the rare occasions she wouldn't be home at night. Not that I wanted that, but it was forced upon me. The baby-sitter in question was a girl only two years older, who attended the same school I did. It doesn't take much imagination to understand I became the laughing stock, the moment my baby-sitter started spreading the news.
My mother played the perfect public-role of "mommy". Everyone (who didn't know her) loved or admired her and thought no one could be better at the role of "nurturing, encouraging mother". I think her public-role exhausted her, because at home she lost all interest in her parenting duties.
Only those closest to her knew she always kept to her room in needy-demand morning noon and night. Only those closest to her saw how her past haunted and crippled her. Only I saw the side of the woman who "had to have" a little girl to make her life "complete". Only I was lucky enough to see the dark side of my own adoption.
To this day, people will sing the praises and strength of my a.mother. Only those closest to her really know better.
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too much though
My adoptive mother was very much a mommy-figure, too much though. She very much loved me to stay 3 years old forever. I guess there is a band-width for adoptive mothers as to the extend to which they can be mommies. Too little is not good making the child to feel neglected, but too much can make us feel smothered and emphasized the unnatural aspect of the mother-child relationship.
My adoptive mother went for the extreme of being too much of a mommy and more or less left me no space but to behave like a three year old. That went so far I still had a baby-sitter, at the age of fourteen, the rare occasions she wouldn't be home at night. Not that I wanted that, but it was forced upon me. The baby-sitter in question was a girl only two years older, who attended the same school I did. It doesn't take much imagination to understand I became the laughing stock, the moment my baby-sitter started spreading the news.
Academy Award-winning
My mother played the perfect public-role of "mommy". Everyone (who didn't know her) loved or admired her and thought no one could be better at the role of "nurturing, encouraging mother". I think her public-role exhausted her, because at home she lost all interest in her parenting duties.
Only those closest to her knew she always kept to her room in needy-demand morning noon and night. Only those closest to her saw how her past haunted and crippled her. Only I saw the side of the woman who "had to have" a little girl to make her life "complete". Only I was lucky enough to see the dark side of my own adoption.
To this day, people will sing the praises and strength of my a.mother. Only those closest to her really know better.