Bad Seeds and Silence Speaks
I feel like I'm going to go ape-shit soon. The Bad Seeds in adoption are really starting to eat at me, and the silence that surrounds us is becoming more and more deafening to me.
I find it VERY difficult reading/posting things I know about the adoption industry, when I know equally as much, AP's are going to read these few pieces and think: "That rarely happens and does not at all involve or reflect my own experience." [For example, cases where CPS workers are sexually abusing children... families that are quickly screened because they have money, "special influence" or political power... parents who are falsely/unjustly accused of abusive behavior... and worse yet, stories of persecution because a person saw something wrong and tried to get others to do something about it.]
It's as if we have entered a new era of moral campaigning... one that advocates adoption versus one that screams for safer child placement.
The censoring of information and the silencing of people really bothers me... in ways I can't express without reading like a truck-driver with a major attitude problem.
If so few news agencies are willing to investigate the flaws and corruptions behind the adoption industry, and so few people are willing to believe we live in a world where children are being used to bring great income to adults who know how to lie and manipulate, how is any reform going to come to child placement practices?
Who is the media protecting when the dark-side of adoption is not investigated and reported as it should be?
How does the censoring and silence change?
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been gone
at yahoo answers
there, i can speak to non-adoptees
i am finding it really rewarding to provide my insights or provoke thought
i think it does a world of good for me and them, and a lot of people who go there are open to hearing from the adult adoptees that are not rabidly angry.
i personally am not as strong as you guys here - amassing the huge pile of documentation of tragedies -
i know it is important work, but i also feel it is most important to change hearts and minds.
from the very beginning, i have wanted to not be the choir speaking to the choir, and this is one way.
i am also more activist-minded - so am always looking for action.
anyway, that is my solution. i really feel it's working.
Anti-Intercountry Adoption Trends in the Media
Anti-Intercountry Adoption Trends in the Media, Cyberspace and the Adoption Community
Susan Cox, Holt International Children’s Services, Inc., and Kathy Sacco, Family and Children’s Agency
Friday, April 11, 2008 (11:15 am - 12:30 pm)
Historically, adoption has been portrayed as a way of protecting and saving children from inadequate environments. Recently, there has been unprecedented criticism of intercountry adoption as an ethical practice. These criticisms have manifested themselves in the form of anti-adoption groups, websites, blogs, scholarly critiques and media representations. This presentation will provide an overview of anti-intercountry adoption trends and explore their substance and methods of dissemination. The presentation will include the emergence of the adult adoptee community and their impact on intercountry adoption. Finally, it will offer participants recommendations for responding to these message in the areas of public relations, policy and practice.
http://www.jcics.org/AC2008_Schedule.htm#5A:%20Is%20Adoption%20PC
If adoption agencies need to be prepared to respond in the areas of public relations, I believe it's because they are scared of us.
Who else?
Who is better qualified to discuss/reveal the dark side of adoption, than the adoptees who have lived the experience?
Who is more threatened by our voices, than those who insist adoption is the best option for all parties involved?
Let them grow more and more scared/threatened by truthful confessions. Let them become more aggressive against our actions. Let them show their TRUE COLORS -- once and for all.
One by one, the corrupt WILL fall.
great catch
i've been sharing this around the net a bit
Action takes many forms
I left the adult RAD support group for the very same reason. (Niels soon followed.) As much as I knew I was wanted/needed by many members at that site, I also knew there was much being discussed with me privately, and I knew I HAD to be more proactive. I simply could not sit and moderate a site that dwelled in doom. I was learning too many adults have been hurt by abusive parents, and too many of these adults were abused in adoptive/foster/children's homes. I had to go-out and find those who could help put a stop to the madness I kept reading/discussing on a daily basis.
We first started PPL with three objectives in mind: help explain the adult RAD/emotional detachment experience, expose the truth that adoption does not stop or prevent child abuse, and create a safe haven/home for abused adoptees, so they could have a place to find support, information and inspiration from like-minded people. We wanted to start a site that would support, educate and advocate the needs of abused adoptees, so others would want to work towards radical reform within child placement services. Not so surprising to me, when we first started, we were told by so-called "authorities on adoption issues" abuse in adoptive homes, and corruption within the industry is a very rare occurrence, with very few victims. [Making it seem like there was no need for our breed of information.]
We were told no one would take us seriously unless we offered proof that abuse in adoptive homes takes place as we claimed. We had to prove our opinions were based on fact, not crap.
I think in two years, two people did a helluva lot in terms of exposing simple truths: Adoption is NOT the best option for parents or a child, it has many flaws and problems, and there are MANY victims created by the adoption industry. This Novemeber , PPL turns two years old. Not bad for two adoptees from opposite sides of the pond, eh?
We did not create PPL to "own" or "keep" a still audience. We did not create PPL so we could generate in income from google ads that promote adoption and therapy services knowing damn well so many of our readers have been hurt by and through these practices. We created it so it could be used as a free informational resource, where ideas and problems could be shared, and problem-solving discussions could begin. We did not create PPL to "start trouble", but to help put an end to it. We created PPL so it could serve as a safe starting-place for those who want to begin to make things better.
I agree with you 100% -- you MUST do what feels right and best for yourself, because at the end of the day, you have to feel pleased with your own personal accomplishments. If sharing your thoughts and experiences with non-adoptees helps you feel strong and empowered, then I think that's GREAT! I believe every person wants to start and end each day thinking, "what I do, matters"... and in your case, I believe you are finding a path that brings passion and a sense of well-being. That's very powerful stuff!
As Lori Carangelo always wrote to me: You can't choose your calling... it chooses you.
Nothing makes me happier than knowing a fellow pup has found his/her own path.... and that path offers far more than mere crumbs.
YOU GO, GIRL!
[Who knows, maybe one of your yahoo contacts will be so moved by your experience, you will be led to a larger media format...after all, aren't all us adoptees huge attention seekers?]
i hope you weren't
i hope you weren't offended.
i mostly meant that what you do isn't necessarily going to stroke you back, since you were feeling blue and a little hopeless.
but i didn't say it in a supportive way.
you've all done an amazing job in two years.
i WILL say (unrelated to this post) that I was very pissed being shut down last week. Neils opened the door so it was kind of the pot calling the kettle black. His moderating standards seemed to have double standards. it made me not want to come here anymore. that might have colored the tone of my comment to you - just a less good feeling towards the site in general.
"time-offs"
I could never be offended when people want to help others learn about the dark-side of adoption. I believe it's our duty to offer help/insight when and where it can be digested and appreciated.
As far as feeling "shut-down", I hope you can see how there's a time and place to throw jokes, and a time to keep anger aside. I especially think with SO much serious material within our pages, it's good to have a thread or two that features PPL's version of "adoption humour". Because there have been so many dark and twisted experiences had by kids, many of us have developed a very sick dripping sarcasm that can easily become fun AND offensive. [This sick ability to pun and joke is one of the things I most enjoy about our breed of people, and I believe that's what that adoption-whore post was for. It's unfortunate it went south and sour, so fast.... (see? my mind can't help but see all sorts of dirty connotations, I'm likely to go off again on how no one touched by a whore or adoption knows when or where they are going to get f---ed!)
In any case, a lesson was learned: we have to place warnings on items that are meant to be dark or sarcastic. [We have the bartender section for that, but the tagging has gotten much too complicated and confusing, so we're trying to address that in time for an upcoming feature we will soon be adding. <wicked smile>]
Although we believe adoptees have the right to speak their opinions, we also believe there's a time and place to put the anger down and have some fun at the expense of an entire industry. [Yes, sometimes things should not get so personal, because words can hurt.]
Hopefully bruised feelings will mend, and your words and opinions will fill and color our pages again, but I completely understand how everyone needs a little time off and out. For what it's worth, you have been missed, but if you find other places much more to your liking, I wish you only the best.
no i understand all that it
no i understand all that
it just smacked of ok for neils to slam someone - not okay for anyone else
and I didn't start the whole thing
i don't know how i feel
i do feel the civility here is over the top
it's one thing if you're a news service, but you're also a forum
content restriction gets into very offensive territory, especially if it seems without known rules, if it seems arbitrary, if it seems exclusive
and i am one of the most civil people i know
read my entire collection of posts and my yahoo answers and you know me and that it's true
but coming here and putting up with hostile people is very stressful
and being defended is sometimes what friends do for each other - on a rare occasion sometimes people deserve and need to be flamed.
it's often felt, throughout dad's presence, that this was more of a PAP support group than an abused adoptee support group.
after that experience here, I no longer feel the need to pander to people with questionable agendas.
however civil i am,
i do not like to run and hide in a private area if i have a beef with someone or some issue
i don't think anyone learns from that
and i actually agree with dad that it's two-faced
i'll visit the site,
but i don't feel good about commenting or adding my insights anymore
and i'm not just being a baby - the place is just tainted for me now - i no longer have the desire to post anything
Private thoughts
I appreciate your thoughts and opinions. The Aftermath section you refer to has been created so private discussions about private matters can be discussed safely. As you know, there are those who live in abusive/controlling relationships, so I put personal safety and protected well-being at a premium within that section. I also believe it's good to vent with like minded people without the fear of attack from those who could take the rants of one person far too personally. Clearly our ideas on censoring and bashing are very different. After all, I'm funny in the sense that I don't want everyone to read my every thought, and yet I don't mind sharing everything if it helps those who have lived through horrible experiences.
Perhaps it's a good idea to put disclaimers and rules to those posting on our pages.
I had simply wrongly assumed personal attacks would not be widely accepted, and that was universally understood. Where I saw Niels comments fun and punny, others took the wrong way. I believe at this point, he owes an apology, but that's for him to decide.
Meanwhile, I have been posting on many sites and have been banned from quite a few. My personal opinions have offended many, and the option to leave was not given to me, but assigned. The only people we delete are spammers. The people I protect are those who fear attack. Those are my basic rules; I'm very simple that way. I forget people need to be taught basic rules of common decency, and I forget people think private discussions are secret conspiracies.
What a wonderful world we live in!
In my next life I'm coming back as a plant.
taking it personally
the things i've shared on PPL have all been intensely personal
because it doesn't help our cause if we keep it only amongst ourselves
it's unreasonable to reap the benefits of that while at the same time saying, don't take things personally
there's no safety here when nobody at PPL has your back except for behind closed doors
you're a pretty lofty bunch, and walking the high road is a lofty goal
but at what price?
i don't think it's right to tell the abused adoptees to maintain when they are under attack
just so you can keep an AP audience
i got into this mess BECAUSE i was defending PPL
i had considered everyone here my family
but i guess that was a one-sided perception
i feel betrayed
please delete me and all my posts
A sorry ending
I will have Niels/Admin address your request. God knows I wish he was here to answer on his behalf, but it seems today he is MIA.
And people wonder why I wish I never agreed to start this site?
responding to the mistakes i made
I understand your anger about my handling of the situation last week. I fucked up big time when I wrote my "get a life" remark. With that I lost the civility, I myself believe in. I got annoyed and responded on basic instincts, which is not something that is helping any of us any further. With PPL we want to make the case for safety in child placement. Pitting fights with one another is not the way to go and undermines everything we stand for. I started the mess and took the responsibility to end to it too. Leaving open that thread would only have escalated.
We have our Adult Aftermath section for support of abused adoptees, where there is room for venting, but the rest of the website is public and can be read by the entire world. If we want to be taken seriously we need to come off as serious. When members start attacking one another we all lose. There is far too much at stake. This site is being watched by the industry and if we end up being the next adoptee organized website where people can't seem to unite, they have won.
We need unity not division if we want to support one another. We need unity not division when we want to make changes to the child placement system. The moment I forgot about that was the moment we got into this mess. I will not make that mistake again. Whenever I am annoyed or triggered by something written, I will use Adult Aftermath to speak my mind, but I will stand for keeping our public pages as civilized as possible. It is what presents us to the outside world and I want us to be a respected voice that gets our message across so things will change.
I believe there is a
I believe there is a fundamental problem when you try to be too many things for too many people.
Having both open discussions and private board is a conflict.
Having a private board detracts from your serious news face
I feel justified in being upset over Dad's hostilities and passive aggressive attacks.
Dad was right to be miffed about the private board
I was wrong to have used the board in the way I did.
Dad and I both should have been free to respond to each other.
It would have worked itself out and people can choose not to read it.
In addition, the conversation was on a joke thread, so i question the serious work argument.
Maybe you would do better to have a serious news site with editorials and comments
and leave discussions and private boards to another site.
As it is, it is unclear whether this is a support site, a news site, or a forum.
After this experience, i do not feel it is supportive nor is it a true forum.
Something to think about
Something else to think about
Since the beginning, PPL has been criticized by many playing both sides of the adoption-coin, so I have learned to grow a thicker skin in that regard. What we have created here is something entirely new and different, and even with it's flaws, I think merit has to be given for our efforts. As you now know, starting a website, and maintaining public approval from all people is not at all an easy thing to do.
On a more personal note, since that's what this OT has become, I will offer my 2 cent opinion and let you think what you want.
Had you dealt with your Dad-Issues with him, personally, when they first began, I can't help but think none of this post-bashing would have transpired.
I personally think it would have been wise for you to discuss these things privately with the man who pissed you off. You easily could have PM/emailed him and not make his comments such an "Us against Him" problem. The power to change things was yours, but you chose not to use that to your advantage. Instead, it seems you have become angry (?) with the ones who don't want to play part in your personal battle against one person. Sorry, but I don't think one AP opinion deserves all my focus. There are far more different issues/topics we can discuss. I also find it quite ironic that this "trouble" began because adoptees at another website were attacking you for a private project you wanted to initiate. Bottom line for me: I can't stand when adoptees attack other adoptees; it simply looks bad.
Again, I offer you best wishes, and I hope after this, you do in fact find the niche/group you are looking for. We, as a site, will move-on and and continue to make improvements where we think we need to make them, so thank you for offering your own suggestions.
Whatever
I don't believe in doing things behind closed doors, Kerry - nobody can learn from that.
I don't believe in taking Dad to task behind closed doors either. That's LAME.
If I had done that, you wouldn't have learned anything from this discussion because we wouldn't be having any.
You guys have admitted opening the door to this, but NOT ONE person has addressed my feelings of betrayal.
You haven't recognized how I had your backs but you haven't had mine.
That's a serious breach for my adoptee trust issues. You love adoptee participation, but value your AP more and allow him to spew his bile here with impunity, but not the adoptee. That's a double standard in the wrong direction.
I don't want your approval. You guys were family. Were.
Goodbye.
I asked to be removed and haven't been. I also have tried to remove myself and can't figure out how. Please remove me now.
Personal Issues
The AA section was created for those who wanted to share PERSONAL ISSUES within a section that offers the comfort of safety (from "outside" attack) and privacy. I'm sorry you don't see value in that, especially for those who have been abused and feel very angry/anxious around certain people... but I'm not going to change my beliefs because you don't agree with my style. Maybe you don't mind exposing all your personal issues to others, but I can't believe that's how all people want to operate.
I believe you are very angry and hurt... but betrayed? We can easily make this thread: "Wolves" http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/20928 public. That IS the basis of your complains, isn't it? You got upset because "Dad" made a comment about PPL on another adoption website, and you wanted to warn us about his back-stabbing ways. Personally, I didn't see Dad's words as being all that offensive, especially when you compare his comment to the comments made by others about your project-initiative. So who's the bad-guy? Got me by the ovaries... Truthfully, I don't understand how PPL let you down because an unrelated thread with a bad joke was closed. I agree with the move made by Niels: there's no point in adding personal argument to something that was supposed to be fun and funny. Why would we want the PPL pages to be hostile to ANYONE?
As far as all your posts are concerned, this is a technical detail I cannot address... (I am lame when it comes to computers and programs). This will have to be discussed with Niels.
I'll be honest, I don't understand the rationale behind deleting all that you wrote... especially if you believe what you have to offer has meaning and purpose, but clearly you must have your reasons. Trust seems to be the issue here, and it's obvious you don't think you can trust us with your words. Wow. That's quite an insult, especially to me.
Last but not least, I think the term "family" is something we as adults help create, not expect. I believe walking away and acting like you never existed among us says a lot about how you see things and operate. I think it's sad you are not willing to work-out the personal problems you have found here... but I believe that's your choice, not mine. No one is forced to stay... I simply don't see why people have to be deleted?
No that isn't the basis of
No that isn't the basis of my complaint. (slapping myself in the forehead / hitting my head on the wall)
There's a difference between personal and protected and private. Look them up.
You know what's private and for me? My INBOX. that's the LAST place I want a hostile party to enter.
You can bring up whatever you want on your private protected space - but is a site that seeks to "become a recognized voice in future decisions regarding child placement" the appropriate place for that? Is support group part of your mission statement? Where is the line between support and serious research, between transparency and protected?
I'm not leaving because of public vs. private - I think it undermines all you do, but that's your call if you want less respect.
I'm pissed because when things are already in the public realm, then they should at least be given their due process.
At issue with the site is shutting down a thread That's just LAME. Censorship is lame.
At issue is when and how you choose to be supportive. Which, when the shit hit the fan your true colors came out. I really appreciated that.
At issue personally is I had your back but you didn't have mine. Nor did you trust anyone to work anything out. I really appreciated that as well.
The problems are systemic
You won't acknowledge that there's a problem, only pointing it all towards me.
So there's really no more point in this discussion.
I vote with my feet because I can't contribute to something I don't agree with.
I can't agree with censorship.
I can't agree with bad or non-existent or poorly written policy.
I can't agree with autocracy and control.
I think it's a bad idea to mix private board with serious research - It's schitzophrenic and causes conflicts.
I can't agree personally with a space that sends out a message of support to abused adoptees but fails to deliver with real support in real situations.
In the end, you only hurt yourself by continuing this kind of site management.
And as for my contribution, there is a whole world out there that is my oyster.
Private vs personal is not
Private vs personal is not defeatist. Privacy is a right we have. Just like we have the right to speak publicly. Not everyone wants the public to know their darkest moments. They go there for support.
I choose to speak publicly. But it sure is nice to know that if I want privacy here I can find that too.
I find this conversation LAME. Respect is a two way street. He apologized... you keep on going.
It is now you who keeps this going. I will not stand by while you let your personal grudges affect this board. Or what they are trying to do here...
YOU ARE UNDERMINING WHAT THEY ARE TRYING TO DO HERE. YOU ALONE.
I have been doing this for five long years... and I have seen this over an over... one person gets their panties in a bunch over what someone else with their panties in a bunch said and it drives people out of the site. In fact it seems to much like coincidence.. for it to happen on only the MAJOR SITES after they start to get public attention....
If you care about our cause you would not undermine it like you are. Why you would attack people who are trying to make a difference it makes no sense.
I lost a friend I come here to talk... and what do you know.... your staring it...
If you can't drop it and act civilized then leave and let the rest of us try to keep helping ...
Take this crap to yahoo chat where it belongs OR DROP IT.
People say stupid things all the time it's one of the few things you can count on...get over it. Rise above them.....
Or beat it.
betrayal
"You guys have admitted opening the door to this, but NOT ONE person has addressed my feelings of betrayal."
I would like to address betrayal and how its effects on every part of the lives of those who were betrayed at birth.
All of us have, at one time or another, lay ourselves wide open here, in an intimate bid for acceptance, through
trust. Warp speed back to infancy where a lot of us first experienced betrayal.
Did we receive any specific, negotiated arrangements (promises, commitments) designed to augment the trust that is inherent in that relationship? Or did we all grow up trusting no one.
I feel we search out those who have experienced this betrayal, and in them, we tend to put too much trust. People
are NOT trustworthy, IMO.
If we look at almost_human and put ourselves in her place, I think we would all come to the conclusion that no one stuck up for us. It's how we react. It's how we see it. To separate this experience from what we have always experienced is almost impossible.
I'm able to see both sides, here. I find it typical of people who know betrayal at its deepest evil, to react these ways.
No one wants to be alone among their own crowd; and no one wants their crowd to make them feel singled out
as doing wrong by the crowd.
What we need is a conceptually clear account of betrayal that differentiates between genuine and merely perceived betrayal, and which also provides systematic guidance for the assessment of alleged betrayal in real life.
Betrayal trauma occurs when people or institutions that are depended on for survival violate human trust. An example of betrayal trauma is childhood physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. THIS is where we come from... and: loyalty, trust,
and moral boundaries are what we need to be considered a "group" of people who support each other. Is that possible
with a group like this?
"I can be changed by what happens to me, I refuse to be reduced by it." M.A.
One Step Up From Bottom
Teddy
Yes as long as people use
Yes as long as people use respect as the fundamental building blocks for it.. With out respect for one another at the same time being able to accept an opinion as simply that.... an opinion.
With out respect what do we truly have? Our opinions... which in turn is like walking around with a loaded gun blindfolded..
Excuse me... I have a funeral to attended... if people don't figure out what i am talking about it won't be the last foster friend I bury...
Trust
You know what's ironic about your piece on trust and betrayal?
I don't trust people because they keep walking away. For me, leaving is the worst act of betrayal a person can make... but then, I'm very funny and sensitive to little things like that. I have grown a very thick scarred skin, and have learned not to count on those who call themselves "family".
I don't need family. I would like to make more friends, which is why we created this site in the first-place. I want friends who want to help make child placement a safer practice because that will help restore all that got lost in so many lives. I want to feel like I can begin to learn to trust and feel good about people again. I want the deaths of so many people not to be in vain, and I want to find friends who believe those without a voice deserve one that can be heard around the world.
I want all my opinions on people and family to be proven wrong.
I guess I'm cooky and crazy that way...
case closed
Our website is not about taking members to task. If you want to pit a fight with Dad, go over to alt.adoption and unleash all hostility you feel towards him. It's an entirely unmoderated environment, so you can fight him there till kingdom come. In the mean time we have more important issues to address than the motivations of one adoptive parent to read our website and make the occasional comment. I refuse to go into the he said, she said territory, knowing children have been stolen from their parents in the mean time, children have been abused in the mean time and people have been sent out on the streets because they aged out of the system.
I stand by my decision to close a thread that would otherwise have deteriorated into personal attacks. Like I closed that thread, I will also stop responding to the hissy fit you threw in this thread in response to that decision. I made my apology for opening the door in that thread and I am not going to repeat it.
If you want to leave because I am not backing you up when you want to criticize someone angrily for something that he in your eyes has done, you are very right. I am not going to do that. If you want to pick fights with individual adoptive parents, you are on your own.
As far as your posts go. I am not willing to remove them. All of them have valuable responses made by other people that will be deleleted as a result.
Let it be clear for all members: Personal Attacks will not be tolerated, and will be edited at the discression of the owners of PPL
As far as I am concerned the case is closed.
almost_human, from the
almost_human, from the first time I stepped up to the system 5 years ago.. I was doing it all by myself..slowly I guess I inpsired others..... then slowly they inspired others... and so on and so on...I have been attacked from the foster care system adoption system and even my own fellow advocates..... here in Canada....
This is a sensitive topic to everyone... I simply shut down my personal site after i tried to mix ex foster kids and parents that have lost their children...
WHAT AN EXPLOSION THAT WAS... but.... it helped the cause just the same... but at the same time.. it had consequences..
Now I can't get my fosters group to mingle with anyone now... many see it as us vs everyone....
Trying to please all sides is never easy and is impossible... most of the time...
The fact is we are all angy at what has happened to us... and that anger seem to be triggered in us 10000% easier then others who have not been in our situation... with that in mind we all need to realize something... we are all almost human...
Your name.. almost human... I was never human... I am not human now.... Nore do I strive to be one.
Take a look around... do you really want to be human..?
I have more in common with animals and computers then I do humans... ....
But the one thing you can count on is humans make mistakes.... ALL OF THEM...
What allows us to become more then human is when we can admit we make mistakes... and forgive others who do...
It's what separates us from the system and those who run it...
Leaving here won't solve anything...and I gotta say I am getting a bit disgruntled.. after all these years the sheer amount of people who leave me standing alone to fight...because they can't understand that it's what separates us from them...... especially in my own crew...
There is no unity in division... and if things don't stay unified it will be the children who suffer at the systems hands that will be the consequence...
Every voice in this war matters... every story every opinion...I kinda think it's funny that people like dad and them don't attack me... but given how I can rip a strip off politicians, police officers and judges face to face, over the phone or on various forums.. I would not want to piss me off eather... .... but the more I am insulted the more I learn about myself..
that is what makes me who I am.. and part of my growing to become more then human..
but I have poured out my heart and soul to complete strangers for over 5 years..I have been insulted arrested beat on for it... and my child stolen for it...
My comfort irrelevant.. in this... my dignity is irrelevant... all that matters it making sure this stops happening to children and families.. my personal comfort and destruction of my soul take second place.... because helping others takes first.. and if your here to help then.... you must do the same....
Children's lives depend on it...
Could you imagine if I had quit 5 years ago? and never inspired other to stand up and fight? I just have to wonder how many lives I and so many others have saved as a result...
Here I got CPS so paranoid that alone has probably already drastically improved the quality of foster care... for many kids...
And please don't let what I have said here reflect who I am... I am still an asshole...
I am new to PPL and didn't
I am new to PPL and didn't read the thread where this all took place. I don't know the full scope of the situation, but it does seem like something went sour.
In the past I have tried to make my opinions about CPS heard and have been insulted and snuffed away since I was not in care myself as a child. That I couldn't possibly know what it's like... And they are right to an extent. As a child when CPS came to my home to take us away I happened to answer her only question to me in a way that she could not remove me from my home. I saved my family from being torn apart without even realizing it at the time. Later in life I saved my only niece and nephew from the CPS fate as well. But I have known hundreds of foster kids and adopted kids, we were good friends and they let me know the torment and hell that they went threw. They are all angry people deep inside... Angry at all the people who hurt them so much with absolutely no remorse shown to them.
I have tried to raise awareness to CPS issues in my own way, and have been told off thousands of times for it. That what I have to say about the issue means didly squat.. but I keep trying to make a difference, making mistakes along the way and learning from it. I don't take offense to the insults because I know they aren't really mad at me, they are mad at the system that abused them and left them for dead. And decides, I will gladly be insulted and abused if it will help improve the lives of our children...
If anyone let one person or one insident steer them away from their cause, we would not have come this far. We would have given up all our fights to make change within the system to help children who are still going threw it now. There are still children being abused and killed while we all hold our personal grudges against each other.
I am new too
I am also new I just joined 5 minutes ago so you are the first post I saw I am glad I read your post first I have been to many websites and gone through the same thing I so understand. I was trying to reply to I'm new I think I did it wrong.