Pound Pup Legacy

All my life I have been under the impression that the whole world is/was against me.  As a young child our whole world is our ?family? and then those around us at school and finally at work as we get older.

Why wouldn't a person grow up thinking this when their own ?family? was not for them at any time in their life?  Some would think there has to have been a time when the ?family? stood by the child.  I can not think of one time that I would describe as my ?family? standing by me or up-for-me, putting me first or encouraging me that they are/were there.

There are three parts to my biological ?family?:  my father and his relatives, my mother and her relatives, and then me.  My father's relatives were led to believe that I was this horrible child and therefore they were ashamed of me and had nothing to do with me.  My mother's relatives just never had anything to do with me.  And ME.... well, my husband betrayed me; I've
lost three children to sexual abuse, and am in the process of letting go of the two oldest and getting back my two youngest. 
NOT a very functional ?family?.  Who is to blame...
Would having parents who loved me have helped?
Would having an extended family have helped me?
Would having a husband who loved me have helped?

?Family? is a strange word to me.  I don't know what it is supposed to mean to me.  I've never experienced ?family? as I see other people live it.  I do know that it's something most people hang on to, so it must be special. 
I tried to make a ?family?.  I didn't know it takes everyone wanting it to make it real.   I took children from other ?families? and added a man who never had a ?family?, combined them with me who had no clue about ?family?.... I didn't make a ?family?.