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Comments
2 separate issues
I see these as two separate issues that cause extreme damage to a child. I need to take the word consequences first since
I'm feeling that my father's rejection of me HELPED cause more negative consequences with my mother's emotional/mental abandonment of me.
The consequences of his rejection caused me to search for male acceptance in a very negative way; with NO self esteem
I searched for ANY male acceptance but only found myself used and then thrown away.
The consequences of my mother's type of abandonment of me did not destroy my need to be mothering and nurturing. She
just made it almost impossible for me to find adult compatibility that would complete me in that I could accept real love.
There was NO consistency with my mother's abuse, but my father's rejection was total and consistent.
IN A WORLD OF WHY,
Teddy
Gender-specifics
I like how you immediately address the "searching for stability" issue I think many victims of family-abuse face.
Maybe as a gender, women are expected to be more emotionally labile or moody than men (blame it on the hormones and roller-coaster reactions many experience). So by default, wouldn't it be logical to think a man is more stable and consistent with his actions and feelings? [I have often been sadly amused, through my own childhood experience what "the weaker sex" really means in long-term relationships.]
I'm curious....what, in your mind, makes a man turn from Provider to Predator? [What typically switches his "giving attention" to "taking a different interest"?]
From My Newly Renewed Mind
I don't think there is really a switching going on... I've lately been asking God just what He was thinking when He made man.
Ever since Eve, in her stupidity, took the apple and ate; having her eyes opened to nakedness/sexual urges first; and as she approached naked Adam with her newly acquired ability to SEE his nakedness, she is handing the apple to him. Even before
he ate the apple; with just the approach of that apple, his eyes were on Eve's nakedness, with compelling sexual urges. So you see, men have never really been the provider, but the predator... When kicked out of the garden to be a provider, he was already addicted to being the predator (of Eve's newly seen body and what it could give him). What was God thinking?
Isn't this the start of a man's stable actions.... isn't the saying that a man is constantly thinking of sex? From the very beginning
men have been visually aroused while the woman lacks her emotional needs being met.
IN A WORLD OF WHY,
Teddy
Sex between the genders
The first thing that came to mind after reading your comment was: Is there anything more dangerous than sex without protection?
All naked-urges aside, if the man does not protect the woman, who is going to protect the child? I believe when one partner fails to provide for the other, all hell will indeed break loose, affecting an entire family.
Protection
That's a good point. Wasn't man supposed to protect the "weaker sex?" As I lived in my unprotected loneliness, there was
just not enough of me to protect the children by my self. HE was supposed to love and cherish all of us, but especially his children. Instead, he crossed a line and all hell DID break loose; what he did was from the pits of hell. People must never think they are not hurting others when they cross that forbidden line! Many people for years to come will be affected by the evil of one man's selfishness. Generations will be affected. It's one line you dare not cross and continue. It leads right back to the hell it came from.
IN A WORLD OF WHY,
Teddy