Pound Pup Legacy

Almost_Human described the origins and inspiration behind her adoptive parent's desire to take-in a child through formal adoption:

they wanted to be good christians and do something charitable and were enchanted with images of adorable little asian children they'd seen in magazines.  they thought that, if they sacrificed a little, they could fit one more child in, give it food and clothing and shelter.  the idea of saving one of these waifs from a horrible life pleased them a lot. http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/19707

I read this and kept thinking how  "charitable donations" become "the ultimate child sacrifice", especially knowing how many adoption agencies are actually funded by religious charities.  I'm sure, on paper, adoption reads like a great idea, but what happens when a child's needs or demands don't stop after a year or two of "good parental behavior", and those parents weren't prepared for such a reality?  I believe "sacrifice", "duty" and "gratitude" are huge adoption issues hidden in the religious language of charity, and I think it's very easy for the exhausted "do-gooder" to see the once beautiful needy adopted child as an ungrateful bastard and burden.  In this sense, abuse in adoptive families comes as no surprise.  I imagine it's much easier to hurt a child who is "not really ours".

This makes me wonder, how soon does "charity through adoption" become a sordid game of guilt, shame and blame?  And how many abused adoptees felt like the image of parental sacrifice and charity was done all for public-show and approval?