Pound Pup Legacy

"I  have a theory about finding "the perfect" soul-mate.  This companion is stead-fast and true, because he/she walks the same path, the same footsteps and keeps the same rhythmic pace as "the you" who sits still, or keeps moving.

If you remember several years ago when I disagreed with you and thought the soul-mate should be the opposite instead of the same?  I'm still at a loss about this since my evil-x was one who had walked the path of the betrayed as I did; but then he chose to be the betrayer instead of the soul-mate!  He had allowed me to be ME... yet he was phony and acted out his own betrayal on me.  How do you see this as being safe; finding the soul-mate?

I believe a soul mate is someone who has a never seizing interest in his/her mate, irrespective of being different or the same. No two people are diametrically opposite or completely the same, but someone who is a true soul mate accepts the other for who (s)he is. Sometimes they follow the exact same path and step in the same rhythmic pace, but sometimes the paths diverge for a little while to come back together to share each other's experience and continue their path.

The attraction towards each other is completely natural, mutually found, and equal, in every possible way. There is no loss with this person, only gain. It would certainly stand out as different, if and when this attraction occurs. 

Would we not be more willing to give (lose without noticing) in the face of so much to receive (as opposed to never having received before)? How can there ever be a sexual equality that does not have you lose yourself in another human being?  Isn't sex about being lost in each other?

Is it so that sex is about being lost in each other or is it about finding one another and enjoying one another? I don't see that there is loss in that. Sure ego's have to step aside during sex, but again I don't necessarily see that as a loss. I see it as part of natural process of bonding, which to me is only gain.

I long for the day I find my soul-mate, and never have to walk alone, wondering "When will your force break-apart, and go away?".

I see this as a spiritual experience and that the soul-mate was there all the time, waiting to be made known. Only through God, IMO, is there such a possibility; humans being so prone to break-apart and go away.

I see it as a personal discovery. I've always had the idea of what would feel good and could never really find it. I'm not a person of faith and no entity I do not acknowledge can keep me where I don't want to be, but I believe my own will, determination and desire can bring me to my soul mate and once there I believe I have no desire to go astray, because I can truely value what I have.

"I think I can bond with just about anyone, until an outside influence pisses me off.

I always thought it was the person themselves who caused me to run away and not something of outside influence.  I see people as what they do being a great clue as to who they are.  I shut down to them, but now I'm trying to think it through instead of immediately running away.  I have no other place on this earth to run to from here.  I have no choice. It makes me feel very controlled just knowing I have no place to go...  who do I blame?  There is no one.

I believe there should be room for running away when it all gets too much. Does running away imply there is no room for return? As long as I can understand why someone runs away, I will always leave the door open for return. I understand anger, anxiety, fear, so why would someone's running away be a problem in building a relationship?

"How can a person like that have one soul-mate?" 

IMO, someone who does not run away, especially if there is a place to run to, has a better chance of happiness than someone who cuts and runs continually.  Having one soul-mate is the ideal... having many who you can relate to would be, IMO, even better, since I don't think there will ever be that much consistency in one man.

I don't necessarily see running away as always running towards as much as running from. Someone who runs away does not necessarily seek immediate replacement, but instead seeks the perceived safety of being away from the person who feels too close in that moment. So someone who runs away can still have a soul mate as long as the one who (s)he runs away from understands and sticks with the runner through thick and thin.

not so

i'm actually hugely sentimental.  for instance, i bought a typewriter to write my lover notes on because it would be nicer to receive quaint letters than stupid emails.  not just any old typewriter, but the same olivetti that a poet boyfriend once had. 

now, sentiment i feel great about.  romance i feel great about.  "soul mate" sends me to the vomitorium, though. 

it is the assigning of spiritual to something that is human that irks me.  that's why i equate it to religion - man creating this house of adoration and saying it is god's house, when actually it's man's house and god had nothing to do with it.  i get equally irritated when any good feeling is hijacked to be something it isn't. 

to be thrilled, to be in communion, to have ecstasy, to be loved.   these are what we can achieve with anyone we choose to see who sees us. 

searching for the ultimate, our "soul mate" limits us, while at the same time creates unmanageable expectations.