I've been told I can be intimidating, because I look people up and down when I first meet them. I don't do it to be a bitch, I do it to get a sense of what the other person is like. You can tell a lot by how a person stands and shakes your hand and starts a conversation. Unfortunately, I forget how I appear to others, because I'm so busy doing my own rundown, so I endup being the one who gives off a bad first-impression.
Though I've never been told I was hard to approach, I have heard time and time again how difficult it is to get through to me. I've never really had problems with people approaching me, though I usually find it difficult to approach others, for some reason I always need an excuse to do so. When approached by someone, I usually try to maintain a distance and independence. Only in rare occassions do I allow people to see the real me, always afraid to be not good enough, weird and unlikeable. Only when I know I will be accepted for who I am do I dare to show my true colours.
When I was a teen, my a.dad always told me, "Take that hard-look off your face!"
... WHAT "hard-look"? It was my natural face... one without a smile, because I would rarely smile. (What was there to smile about?)
I tend to keep to myself, so I suppose my face looks far more serious than what 's really brewing in my sick and twisted freaky-weird mind. In most social-situations, people would actually come-up and tell me when they first saw me, I appeared to be the biggest stuck-up bitch they ever saw before.
Thanks.
That comment would follow with, "... but you're actually the nicest and funniest person I've ever known".
Uh, thanks... that's what makes and keeps me Special; two-sides of the same coin.
I don't know how to be different; I don't know how to fake pleasantries or smile for no apparent reason. I'm truthful, and it will always show on my face. Some accept that more than others, and at this point, I refuse to change. I will either grow like a fungus in a person's life, or be quickly removed. I let the Other Person choose.
Damn... Then I must be someone that doesn't matter.
Having spoken with many adoptees over the years, I've experienced many are not so much difficult to approach, but difficult to get through to. Maybe I am just projecting my own personality upon other adoptees, but I sense a fierce sense of independence in many adoptees. I also notice that in the difficulty to unite adoptees to fight for a common course. I've said before it seems easier to conduct a choir of frogs than to unite adoptees for important changes in the child placement system. Although I am the first to admit it could also be due to my lack of persuasive powers.
That was of course a tongue in cheek comment and intended to be ironic as I'm sure Niels understood :)
I don't think anyone would agree with you more than I do that adopted people are a 'choir of frogs' when it comes to doing anything pro active, as a group, about access to records or any of the other wrongs of adoption. I've always tended to put that down to apathy, a characteristic that I do find very common amongst adoptees in the UK. I find it very difficult to understand why that is the case. But then almost everyone here in England seems to be apathetic about any kind of political action, just adoptees are more so perhaps
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I've been told I can be
I've been told I can be intimidating, because I look people up and down when I first meet them. I don't do it to be a bitch, I do it to get a sense of what the other person is like. You can tell a lot by how a person stands and shakes your hand and starts a conversation. Unfortunately, I forget how I appear to others, because I'm so busy doing my own rundown, so I endup being the one who gives off a bad first-impression.
I think I do that
I think I do that verbally
Well I do if my initial interest is sufficiently aroused, if I can get past the eye-contact stage without appearing so aloof that they give up on me
Robin
*
behind the armour
Though I've never been told I was hard to approach, I have heard time and time again how difficult it is to get through to me. I've never really had problems with people approaching me, though I usually find it difficult to approach others, for some reason I always need an excuse to do so. When approached by someone, I usually try to maintain a distance and independence. Only in rare occassions do I allow people to see the real me, always afraid to be not good enough, weird and unlikeable. Only when I know I will be accepted for who I am do I dare to show my true colours.
"What a BITCH!"
When I was a teen, my a.dad always told me, "Take that hard-look off your face!"
I tend to keep to myself, so I suppose my face looks far more serious than what 's really brewing in my sick and twisted freaky-weird mind. In most social-situations, people would actually come-up and tell me when they first saw me, I appeared to be the biggest stuck-up bitch they ever saw before.
Thanks.
That comment would follow with, "... but you're actually the nicest and funniest person I've ever known".
Uh, thanks... that's what makes and keeps me Special; two-sides of the same coin.
I don't know how to be different; I don't know how to fake pleasantries or smile for no apparent reason. I'm truthful, and it will always show on my face. Some accept that more than others, and at this point, I refuse to change. I will either grow like a fungus in a person's life, or be quickly removed. I let the Other Person choose.
No, I've not been told that
`
Well, not by anyone that matters
Unity
Damn... Then I must be someone that doesn't matter.
Having spoken with many adoptees over the years, I've experienced many are not so much difficult to approach, but difficult to get through to. Maybe I am just projecting my own personality upon other adoptees, but I sense a fierce sense of independence in many adoptees. I also notice that in the difficulty to unite adoptees to fight for a common course. I've said before it seems easier to conduct a choir of frogs than to unite adoptees for important changes in the child placement system. Although I am the first to admit it could also be due to my lack of persuasive powers.
Ah.. you mean in general
That was of course a tongue in cheek comment and intended to be ironic as I'm sure Niels understood :)
I don't think anyone would agree with you more than I do that adopted people are a 'choir of frogs' when it comes to doing anything pro active, as a group, about access to records or any of the other wrongs of adoption. I've always tended to put that down to apathy, a characteristic that I do find very common amongst adoptees in the UK. I find it very difficult to understand why that is the case. But then almost everyone here in England seems to be apathetic about any kind of political action, just adoptees are more so perhaps