Playing Harry Chapin - Cat's in the Cradle
Sun, 2008-01-27 00:51 - Kerry
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A child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
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Associations
I only learned to know this song when Ugly Kid Joe covered it and only recently heared Harry Chapin's original. The song is so profoundly sad, so full of missed opportunities and neglect, it's almost painful to listen to. Though it is about a father's neglect towards his son, the lyrics to the song are written by a woman (Harry Chapin's wife Sandy).
On entire other note, the song has so many references to the founding days of the American Adoption industry. First of all there is Chapin's name. that brings to mind Alice Chapin, founder of Chapin Adoption Nursery, later merged with Clara Spence's Adoption Nursery into Spence-Chapin, as of today one of the leading adoption agencies in the New York area. These two ladies, together with Florence Walrath, founder of The Cradle, were among the first to set up adoption agencies.
Like the absent father in the song had no idea of the needs of his son. The ladies that started the adoption agency wave, could impossibly have an incling of the needs of the pregnant women whose babies they placed among their affluent acquaintances. Spence-Chapin's merger was celebrated in the Sert room of the Waldorf Astoria and for years they held their annual Silver Spoon Cocktail Parties as a fundraising event for their agency.
Florence Walrath story is most telling. She started The Cradle, after she had found an infant to replace her sister's baby lost at child birth. Having been successful at that, she was asked to do the same for other people in her circles, leading up to her starting an agency. The Cradle had among their clientele celebrities like: George Burns and Gracie Allen, Bob Hope, Al Jolson, Donna Reed, Pearl Buck and Gale Sayers.
With more interest in the needs of their millieu, these ladies set a standard, which was repeated by the many agencies that followed: delivering baby boy blue and baby girl pink, under the false pretence of charity.
Games People Play
It's no secret I'm an avid fan of word-play, as it's how I would spend many of my days as a child, playing and reading by myself. This song, to this day, makes me cry... the longing of a lost parent-figure, ("when are you coming home?") sung by a man is very heartbreaking.
When I was much younger, I used to picture a cat in the cradle, as being a literal image (a child placed a cat in a baby's cradle as a prank or play-time diversion), only to learn later it's a hand-string game, shown here: http://www.ifyoulovetoread.com/book/chten_cats1105.htm
The "silver spoon", I always pictured as being from the Children's Poem, "Hey Diddle Diddle", with the image of a dish running away with a spoon.
"Little Boy Blue" is yet another Nursey Rhyme: http://www.amherst.edu/~rjyanco94/literature/mothergoose/rhymes/littleboybluecomeblowyourhorn.html
and "man in the moon" is a fictional face looking down on the one looking, wishing and waiting.
It would be interesting to learn what the intended meaning was for those lyrics, but your associating them with founders of the adoption industry make the song that much more sad to me, knowing how long and lonely the wait is for natural parents and children separated by illegal and immoral means, wondering, "Are they thinking of me, and missing me, too?"