Musical influences
I often wondered if my natural mother listened to a lot of music when she pregnant with me, because I really like a lot of music my adoptive parents don't like. I saw this article about spacing-out during certain certain songs, and it struck a chord with me. http://abackans.com/musepiNAN94.htm
I wouldn't say I go into a shaking trance or seizure or anything that weird during a favorite song, but I definitely can get lost in certain types of music I really like. It's like a great escape, and music is my capsule. I'll take it any time I can. Likewise, I have this unexplained adamant disdain for certain kinds of music, as well. Some stuff just turns my stomach, and no matter how much I try to keep an open mind, I just can't tolerate it. Why? I don't know.
I wish, in these cases, I knew my parents, so I could ask them, "What sort of music did you listen to, when you were my age?"
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taste
When meeting my brother for the first time, as more or less an adult, the thing most striking to me was the fact we had almost the same record collection. At the time I thought that to be a biological connection, but I don't believe that anymore. He was ten years older than I am and grew up collecting the music of his era. When I started collecting records in the late 70's, early 80's the music of that time didn't appeal to me, so I started looking into the music of the late 60's, early 70's. Having always been pompous, I bought many of the progressive/experimental albums of that period, music I didn't necessarily like all that much, but which looked impressive. I tought myself to endure complex and chaotic music and in the end grew a certain appreciation for it. Still I can listen to any sort of music, whether I really like it or not, though the records I once had, I never listen to anymore. I've come to realize I have a terrible taste, boh in music and in literature, so I stopped buying records or books.
that's stupid
How can you have terrible taste if you're choosing the stuff you read and listen to, yourself? If you like it, you like it. What's terrible about that?
shame
It's terrible taste when it is not about the sensation of either reading or listening, but when it is based on how good it looks on the shelves. My book and record collections were primarily based on that. I hate to be criticised for my taste, so I learned to mold my taste to what was respected. Deep down I am ashamed of all that is a reflection of my personality, so whenever I like or enjoy something I will always test the waters to see if it will be accepted. If so, I will stick to it, if not I will bend and reshape.
deprivation
Will you deprive yourself your own choices, for the sake of others, just because it would "look better"? I ask this, because it reminds me of the time I was in the eighth grade, and it was time to fill-out our "favorites" for our year-book, and for my favorite band/group or song, I put some Air Supply song, when most of the popular kids put The J. Geils Band "Centerfold" for their favorite song.
I remember one kid, Maarten, (yes, he spelled it weird like that...) wrote in my yearbook, "Air Supply?"
Obviously, my pick was not all that highly popular. Did I care? Nope.
I liked the sound, and that's all that mattered.
I knew my place in school. I knew I was not popular, and that didnt matter to me. I was not there to impress anyone. What mattered to me was making sure I knew what song I liked, so when I looked back at my yearbook decades later, I would have the correct song documented under my name and picture. A small detail like that mattered to me, an adoptee.
Stupid and superficial? I never thought so. It was always very deep, personal and meaningful.... to me.
trying to be impecable
Much of the records I bought before the age of 25 were based on what was considered "good taste", whatever that may mean. So I basically bought most of the records from lists like this. Same is true about my book collection of the time, which contained primarily recognized master pieces, most of which I never actually read. Nowadays I hardly buy any albums or books and the collections are stowed away outside of the place I live and I don't intend to ever get them back, they are only a reminder of the pompous ass I have become.
list-makers
That's funny, because I usually stayed away from things that got over popular because I found lists were made for people who lacked confidence in their own independent thinking. I always hated it when I liked a band and suddenly other people would start liking that same band. It would frustrate the crap out of me, forcing me to stop listening to my brand of music because I wouldn't want to blend-in with a crowd I didn't like. I hate the idea of being a "follower" just because it's a current popular trend, one that will quickly be phased-out and replaced with a new flavor and color. That's just so superficial and fake!
A person's favorites should remain a person's favorites, shouldn't they? That's how they become "classics".
Taste or just maturity?
Taste or just maturity?
(adoptees do mature with age just like everyone else, despite what you might have been lead to believe)
I was a bit of a Van der Graf Generator fan in my teens until people started telling me they were crap so I stopped, then came the punk era, which I genuinely liked as well. Started listening to VdGG again recently and decided I really do like them
These days my taste is MY taste, but then isn't having your own tastes rather than being a follower, just a part of being grown-up
When I met my brother for the first time, I thought his taste in music was crap and probably still do and he lives in the home land of Amon Duul II, what a waste then to like glittery pop music and he can play piano and organ quite well but never does, the piano in his house was stacked with junk. One of thing I detest my adoptive family for the most, is not having me learn an instrument. Most of my adad's relations were really musical, he was musically illiterate, just licked singing hymns out tune and out of tune and very load. What chance did I ever have to acquire taste?
I think I was pretty much like Niels, but then so I think were a lot of my non-adopted friends, that was a long time ago when you were no-one if you weren't carrying the right album under your arm as you walked in to the student common room (even if you were never ever actually heard to play it), how do people publicly display their "taste" in these modern days of the downloaded MP3 with no cover to show off? I still love that cow on the front of Atom Heart Mother
Robin
*
The fear-factor
Did you really walk around with albums under your arms, like books?
It's funny how something like musical-taste, (and other reflections of personal style), can be such sources of anxiety, especially if you are not "one with the crowd".
With my children, for instance, they all seem to share similar taste in music based on what I listened to when I was pregnant and what we always had playing in the car and house. That would make sense, because when I was pregnant, if I liked a certain type of music, or sound, that meant their internal (biologic environment) was happy and peaceful. Now, I admit, my musical taste is quite varied, so I love knowing how versitile they are in their musical-taste, as a result. The only type that bothers me is free-form jazz.. It would be interesting to see if any of the four ever develop a liking for that style of music.
Interestingly, too, I played the paino when I was pregnant with the twins, and both like to play around on it on occassion, themselves. I hated the lessons when I was a child, because it was not the instrument I liked (issues with the instructors, among other things), so I don't teach them how to play, but they seem to do well on their own, anyway. We have a piano and drums and a simple kid's guitar in the house, so they have exposure to instruments. If any of them become seriously interested with any of them, as parents we will have to do something about that. So far, none has done more than just fool around with all of them.