Touchy-Feely Needs and Sensitivies
I grew-up in a house that had people with a strong aversion to emotional tenderness, yet I always felt that comfort should come from something "warm and fuzzy".
I was told I could always go to my parents with any problem I had, but that simply was not true. I was very much afraid to tell them certain things, especially when it came to things that might upset them. Asking questions about my natural parents , for instance, was a sure-fire way to upset my adoptive parents.
Are there others who feel as though physical touch is an altered experience, because it's a need that has deeper meaning for you?
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Craving
For me touch is so deeply personal, I want it to be very exclusive. I can't just touch everybody and feel very uncomfortable being touched by just anybody. Still I have a craving for touch, a craving that goes back to my core self. Even though I lived with my natural mother for almost a year, that year still left me with a lot of need and craving. Subsequently growing up with a physically needy adoptive mother didn't do me any good either. Having to live with the consequences is not always easy, especially when seeing other people being so much less freaky when it comes to physical touch. Still not all is bad, cause when I find physical touch that doesn't intimidate me, it's worth all difficulty I have with it.
Wierd word-associations (AGAIN!)
I can't help but do my weird word-game... noticing the word "craving".
More words come to mind: whip, wisk; soft, smooth... all textures that can be seen and felt.
For men, I have often seen them in relationships where they have been using women for sex, only for them to be in emotional voids themselves -- lacking real substance because the sexual contact was not at all what they really wanted.
Often times, these men are called "whipped".
Do you think this has much to do with wanting a deeper, meaningful relationship with the opposite sex, but fear of betrayal keeps getting in the way?
so tough
I know for myself, I always had to brace for something rough. Whether it's being left alone or being hit, being tough became a mind-set, so relationships are tough for me. I don't like letting people in. I need comfort, I want comfort, I simply don't know how to let it in. It's like I get stupid with it, or something.