Image and Association
We all have mental images of what good and evil looks like; more than likely those images have color associations that go with them as well. For instance, evil for me is not necessarily in the image of this devil-creature that's red and carries a strange looking pitch-fork.
No, for me, evil comes in the human-form... and unfortunately for Hillary Clinton, she has the face that reminds me of the woman who hurt and betrayed me most in my life.
Is it fair I associate angry feelings towards a person I don't know, simply because she looks and reminds me of a person I know all too well?
Hell if I know... it seems that's how our brains are programmed.
I'm still working hard to capture the interest in my medical initiative, yet no one seems interested in studying the mind of the child separated from his child, at birth.
I wonder why?
WHY is this not important enough for future reference? Can anyone answer why no one wants to know how the mind works when it comes to making mental connections and images?
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Comments
distance
It makes perfect sense to want to create distance from something, or someone, that irritates you. It would be stupid to stay in a situation that keeps you miserable, unless of course, you have no choice.
Maybe "choice" is the key-word, and it's something that wasn't given to women and children in child-placement. Studying that would prove a lot of people were wrong. God forbid that is proven true!
Possession and Freedom
There is a book, "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings", and it reminds me how there is no freedom when we are kept by things or people that remind us of bad experiences.
A perfect example can be found at a local strip-club... look at the faces of the girls dancing for strange men. Does dancing half naked for men bring them happiness, or is it the money itself that buys them future freedom?
The message is clear in the minds of women, but for men, it' seems cloudy, indeed. [Two excellent video examples are "Woman in Chains" http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/2813 and "Turn the Page" http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/2830 ]
Why does there seem to be so much confusion with this?
close
As a man, I guess it is supposed to be cloudy for me. I've never been to a strip club and have no desire to go to one either. I believe it would make me sad, instead of excited. How many girl's dream is it to to work in a strip joint? How much free choice went into that decision? It may buy a future freedom, though how many would actually save, instead of spend it to fill the void.
As a child we needed to be kept, protected and being cared for and when we didn't we will probably always keep look for something to replace it, even though we don't need it anymore. For some it will be under the guise of money, for others it will be status or marriage, while what we probably all need is the freedom to be close to someone else.
caged and confused
Is there anything worse than being trapped?
I never understood why people like to keep animals behind cages. That always seemed so cruel to me. What if a bird's singing is actually it's crying for help? I think a lot of people do things they don't want to do, because they have no one helping them. Just because you talk, doesn't mean anyone is listening, ya know? For some, the voice can become white noise. I know for myself, growing up, it made no difference what I said, so I just shut-up. I kept quiet conversations to myself, in my head, keeping my distance from those who just didn't understand me.
Buying into perfection
So often there has been the story of the "Could-do-no-right/wrong" child, and I believe this is an image we fight and struggle throughout our lives. I think this is especially true for the child brought into a new and different family, because for the most part, the welcoming faces that first meet and greet the newcomer in the family tend to be in forced "best-behavior" mode. That puts a strain on most normal relationships, and dispositions. Kids aren't stupid, and most don't buy into the fake faces adults put on when trying to be sickly sweet to others, just to elicit certain responses. It's manipulative.
"Reform a Little Liar"
I found the following article giving advice to parents about lying, and how such "non-truth telling", or "creative imaginative language" can have future consequences in a person's actions and reactions with (and among) other people.
"Twisted Truths"
How many adoptees can relate to that phrase?
Learning to lie
I was pretty much taught to lie. First of all I wasn't allowed to talk about being adopted, which was the biggest lie I had to keep, but there were many more. I was taught to lie about my parents strictness, so instead of telling I wasn't allowed something, I had to say I didn't want it.
Up until the age of ten/eleven I can't remember ever having lied for anything other than my parents sake. Later on I found out lying often times worked better than telling the truth, especially when I was having a problem. Telling the truth about a problem would usually create another problem (upsetting my parents), while it didn't solve the original one.
Words, meanings... they're all relative, aren't they?
There's a song by CSN, "Teach Your Children Well" [http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/14091], and I remember as a kid, listening to the lyrics, thinking: what a brilliant idea to have such open communication between parent and child so no lies and secrets had to be told or kept between family members!
One of the most ludicrous lies for me was knowing I already had a mother and father, and family elsewhere, yet I had to keep calling this adoptive family "my one and only family", and act as if my original family never existed, or give any indication I ever missed the strangers I never got to meet as one of my blood known. For me, that started the spiral of sadness and standard of "truth", as it existed in the minds of those who believed it to be for themselves.
If faces and facts can be changed, where is the logical sense and truth to anything we do or say anymore? It would have to come from the person's heart and soul.
In many cases, the new standard of life-lesson, and so-called truth-telling becomes: "do as I say, not as I do".
For myself, I could never understand how someone could keep what belonged to another person, knowing others were hurting as a result of that action. I, like you, Niels, wanted to discuss the situation with my a parents, but this was never allowed. I believe they feared I would want to go back home, because that's where a child belongs... with the family he/she was born into.