The very visual concept of conception
I was chatting not too long ago with a friend about how preoccupied I get about sexual-images, and how I think it's an adoptee-thing. I wonder if it's because I never saw my bilogical parents, as a means of making the "connection", so to speak.
Is it possible adoptees are sexual freaks because we don't see our parents as sexual beings?
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Freaky
I believe you are on to something. There is something fundamentally freaky about living with parents who didn't have sex to receive a child
diconnected
I just think it adds to the complications that already exist, especially if rape or inappropriate touching takes place later in the adoptee's life. "Touch" has always disturbed me, and I think it also lends itself to an over-active imagination in myself. I think most people hurt by people have the same sick sense of humor, too.
Roles and Rules
Boundaries and the ever-loved phrase "family values" is key for the adoptee, and for many that may easily get lost by more than one member of a family who feels displaced by a new stranger in the house. In that case, the sexual taboo of incest is removed, making the newcomer "fair game" as a sex-mate.
Complications and denial are understatements. Family and "familiar" become sordid and twisted, especially if the adults are not well adjusted, in happy fulfilling relationships, themselves.
How sad it is that adoption agencies don't screen for future pedophiles, but these are more secrets added to the course of adaptations many innocents have to adjust to, all in the name of "better homes and parents".
I think in a way, we grow to become more astutely aware of our difference, that being biologic, and that in turn, is sexual, and makes perfect sense within our individual placement in any family setting.
Ironies abound
How sad it is that adoption agencies don't screen for future pedophiles, but these are more secrets added to the course of adaptations many innocents have to adjust to, all in the name of "better homes and parents".
I am always finding ironies in adoption. I've been reading a book that has a lot about adoption history in it. Around the turn of the 19th Century there were people called "moralists" who were in large part responsible for the huge stigma and consequent poor treatment unmarried mothers and their children received in society..... the mothers who were abandoned or otherwise not 'legitimized' by the father. Yet the so-called solution of adoption (adaptation) paves the way for the kinds of abuses and immoralities Kerry has described. The men go free.
The power of sex for the next generation
For Us... the off-spring of those who have been cast-away, it does indeed become twisted!
Look at Sexless Marriages. Now, we have "sexless conception".
Morality teaching? "Family Values"? Based on what? Principles preached by whom?
I remember watching the movie Agnes of God, and being shocked how this young girl was used by the church as a sexual pawn (more than likely by a priest, who used her as prey, getting her pregnant).
"Unwanted pregnancies" have a whole new meaning for those who were abused, and that has to have all sorts of future sexual connotations. Why this isn't discussed more, simply blows my mind!
Hell hath no fury than half
It seems sick that priests can keep doing weddings and children, without the burden of real responsibility. Proof positive it is in all sense of the phrase: a man's-world.