Repairing the Carnage
For years, through private emails, I have read and written many words and life-stories about the carnage left-behind from the broken pieces of adoption and various forms of family loss. I've read horror-stories of abuse, rape, suicide, incest, murder, and acts done to and with animals that would make a person vomit and cry at the same time. And still I would sit in awe at the computer screen and see the strength of some people. Why some, and not others? I have no idea....
For the life of me, I cannot justify making money for myself through those who have lost so much, and have experienced so little of the kinder sweeter things in life. There are mothers and fathers sick with worry, wondering: is my child on the streets, or in jail tonight, because of me? There are children being beaten and sexually molested by strangers because social services didn't take the time to double and triple check the true safety of the home-environment a child was supposed to go for temporary safekeeping. And there are third-party agencies profiting from all this misery. There are half-assed programs that start-off with good intentions but fail miserably because the funding is going in the wrong pockets, and those parents and children needing it most are getting screwed, as a result.
I find that morally vile, disgusting and down-right wrong.
So how does this system change?
Build a business and clean it up? HOW? Start a charity and hope others will contribute? With so much corruption in this world, can that really work? Can people really be trusted anymore?
Looking around, can we really believe there's hope for parents and children anymore? Is it possible to think adoption does not have to be an option one day in the future because eventually each family WILL learn how to take care of it's own-kind? Or is the human-race nothing more than sophisticated savage animals, beyond real repair, hope and care for it's future?
When will profits before parenthood come to an end? When will status no longer be so singularly important in the minds of so many? Above all else...when will children get to be safe at home, and know, no harm will be done to them?
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A bone to pick on paper chases from the past
I believe part of the problem to the whole system of destruction is the focus on a single document. National organizations like Bastard Nation are fighting for opening the tombs of sealed records in America, but what does that do for the world of adoption and child trafficking as it exists today? What does that do to change the lies cast on those papers that define us older adoptees? What's done is done, let the deed rest already! How does learning more details to lies and bullshit help anyone? The fact that the records were sealed should give a pretty good indication they were sealed for a reason. My guess is, someone's ass on each paper is being protected. That ass could very well be the lawyer's!
Just because you find an elusive piece of paper doesn't mean you will find the truth. Just because you hunt a person down doesn't mean you have found a family-member. The fact is, adoption robs people - parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and bastard children alike - their life as it once was supposed to be is all changed, all because money was to be had by somebody. There is no going back from that, is there? No book, no therapy, no weekend cruise is going to take that reality check away, is it?
The sooner we have that sober moment, the better.
The only thing that can be done is accept the horrible truth that people fucked-up. Mistakes were made. Lies were told, and it cost many many lives. That needs to be rectified. Not through inane paper chases that waste court-time. I think we need to start building ourselves a clean slate for ourselves, and get over the idea that the past can be changed.
All we have is the here, the now, and maybe the future, if we don't foul it up with more foolish choices. I think Australia got it right by show of their recent election, making sure their government reflects the change in mind-set that speaks on behalf of the people that they want a future worth living.