Pound Pup Legacy

I've been thinking about how and why I feel like I'm a deranged lunatic, and I've come to the conclusion that I get my f-ed up fears and neurotic behaviors from my psycho mom.  Yes, she made me the fruit-cake nut-job that I am.  Although, to be fair, the men in her life sure as hell didn't help me, either!

I see California is now listed as a gay-marriage friendly state, a band wagon each (MARRIED) presidential candidate sees as "acceptable".  My, oh my, when does the selling of something ever quit?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24657876

There's a sadness that comes over me that I can't overcome.  It curses me at night and talks to me in my dreams.  It reminds me how horrible it was and how they made me feel.  Even in my sleep, I try to stand-up to them, but I can't.  I'm weak, futile and impotent in their power.  I'm a body without an opinion, but I'm expected to explain myself in less than 30 seconds.  I stumble, I mutter, I fumble, and I feel like a fool because I can't defend myself in less than 4 sentences.  Instead, I fall silent because it's safer.  It's too much work to s

I'm learning that I'm afraid of losing.  Losing more parts of myself to people who don't deserve the person I really am inside.

I'm tired.  I'm sick and tired, and I've come to realize what makes me so fucking tired.  I'm tired of having to prove myself to anyone who touches me, I'm not an animal or deranged lunatic.

You know what?  Maybe I am a fucking retard.  Maybe I am so sick and messed-up, I have no right to be alive.  Maybe I just act that way to keep people the hell away from me.  In any case, I'm tired of having to prove my worthiness to people who don't deserve my breath or time.

Inspired by the page found here http://www.scienceaid.co.uk/physics/forces/power.html

Work

The following is a general equation for work done.

Work done = force x distance moved
W = fD

Accomplishment = pressure to perform x need to be loved

Gravitational potential energy (GPE) is the energy 'stored' in an object when it is at height, it uses the following equation:

It's a good thing I don't take too many things seriously, but I found a topic that got me heated because it's one of the reasons why we kids got sent away in the first place.

Naming the father for child support in England

The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. These are genuine excerpts from the forms:

I often wondered if my natural mother listened to a lot of music when she pregnant with me, because I really like a lot of music my adoptive parents don't like.  I saw this article about spacing-out during certain certain songs, and it struck a chord with me.  http://abackans.com/musepiNAN94.htm

Remember that musical "Meet me in St. Louis"?

Well, #1 reason why I will not be found in that city any time soon:

I was a cute baby, at least those few pictures of me were really cute.  I remember being told as a little girl how cute and sweet and adorable I was.  I remember loving the attention people gave me, because I was cute and had a fun personality.

I remember it wasn't always fun.

I remember getting put in my place, being told "you're not so cute".

I remember getting hurt, badly, as a reminder of my place in my family.

Out with strangers, I could be cute and pretty and funny.  I could be liked and safe and loved with strangers.